Two U.S. Census Bureau managers have been fired over allegations that they were forging a massive number of questionnaires that were supposed to be filled out by Brooklyn residents.

   Officials conceded June 25 that about 10,000 household interviews in the borough would have to be redone to ensure that the count is accurate and complete. Bad census data could affect federal funding for numerous programs and could in theory also affect how many seats New York gets in the U.S. House of Representatives beginning in 2012.

   Census Bureau Regional Director Tony Farthing told the New York Daily News that the fraud took place when the Northeast Brooklyn office was under pressure to meet a deadline. He said the managers -- who were ratted out by other census employees -- copied information from phone books and Internet directories rather than making in=person visits to homeowners who had not responded via mail.

   Charges were not filed, but Lee County (Fla.) Sheriff's officers investigated allegations last year that New York Mets pitcher Johan Santana committed sexual battery of a Florida woman.

   A spokeswoman for the Florida State Attorney's Office says her office never considered the case closed, because "it was never submitted to us as a full case for formal review," thus leaving the door open for further scrutiny.

   The complaintant told authorities that despite her telling him "no" several times, Santana had sex with her Oct. 27 on a Fort Myers golf course. "Johan squeezed my right leg with a hard grip, leaving a bruise on my right leg," she said in her statement.

   Santana was interviewed by police and acknowledged having sex with the woman. Santana said she never said no or attempted to reject him, as she indicated in her complaint. Both Santana and the woman said she later accompanied him to a nearby tennis court and watched him play tennis with his father.

   So much for deluding ourselves into thinking all men are created equal. That's not the case in Port Chester, N.Y., where a federal court ruling in response to a Department of Justice complaint back in 2006 has all but rigged an election in order to get a Latino candidate elected as a village trustee.

   The DOJ got its shorts in a bunch because the sizeable Latino population in Port Chester, 30 miles northeast of Yonkers near the Connecticut border, had never succeeded in getting one of its own elected, thus assuming there was some sort of built-in bias in the system.

   Truth is, though, that many minority residents were not eligible to vote because they are not citizens. And data suggests that those who are eligible typically don't vote at the same rate as other groups.

   So the court invented a silly scheme that allowed members of the elctorate to cast six votes for a single candidate instead of one vote for each of six different candidates. The plot worked, as Luis Marino, 43, snared a seat.

   What's up with this chick? Clearly, she doesn't realize that the old show-biz maxim that says "there's no such thing as bad publicity" is B.S. You know you're in trouble when mothers take one look at you and decide they would rather have their daughters eumulate Britney Spears.

   Lady Gaga showed up at a Yankees-Mets game June 18 wearing fisnets, panties and a black bra exposed for all to see by a barely buttoned Yankees jersey. Earlier in the month, her lack of fashion sense was surpassed by her lack of common sense as this odd bird of a singer/entertainer flipped the bird to fans.

   The Yankees were denying rumors over the weekend that team co-chairman Hal Steinbrenner was furious with Lady Gaga showed and banned her from the clubhouse after she flirted with players following a loss. Even if the flirting never happened, the bra-and-panty show certainly did.

   But what the hell, at least she helped fans forget how much they had overspent on their seats plus the cold hot dogs and warm beers at the ballpark.

Certain topics are now standing features on the nyscandals.com site either because they crop up with such frequency that they deserve a full-time presence or the misbehavior is so epic that it simply needs ongoing recognition.

Just think of it as one-stop shopping for non-stop affronts to the good people of New York.

BERNIE MADOFF

   Robbing banks and stealing purses are for amateurs. The pros go after billions of dollars at a time, and no one in recent memory has been more prolific than Bernie:

MORE MUST READING

   Here are a few places we visit regularly in search of news on the morally repulsive, the politically objectionable or some prose with an attitude:

ArtVoice (Buffalo)

Buffalo Bean

Deadspin.com

Democracy Now

Dragon Fly Eye (Rochester)

Drudge Report

Fighting 29th (N.Y.'s 29th congressional district)

Huffington Post

In Da Buff

Inside The Beltway (Washington Times)

Monroe Rising (Rochester)

Mustard Street (Rochester)

New York Post crime blotter

Niagara Times

Opinerlog

Page Six (N.Y. Post)

Patriot Post

PerezHilton.com

Politicker NY (New York Observer)

Politics, Theory and Photography

Repoman

Roaring Republican

Rochester Conservative

Rochester Turning

The Liberty Lounge

The Onion

Tom L. Lewis

Water Buffalo Press

Wizbang

WNY Media (Buffalo)

Wonkette

   One of the really neat benefits of assembling a budget -- whether for a family of four or a state of 22 million -- is that it offers the opportunity to align revenues and expenses in such a way that those involved can look at the data and make the difficult decisions about what can stay and what must go in order to put forth a responsible plan.

   The concept works well in most commonwealths, but it's a fiasco that results in failure -- late, wasteful spending plans rooted in unrealistic revenus projections and fortified with new taxes -- every year in a state that we won't name. But here's a hint: It's initials are N.Y.

   One of the Senate's top "leaders," Sen. Pedro Espada, is fighting charges by Attorney General Andrew Cuomo that he misappropriated funds for personal use from a government-funded health clinic in the Bronx. For good measure, the FBI and the Internal Revenue Service are also investigating.

   In case you don't recall, Espada is one of the two Dems who switched sides in the summer of 2009 to briefly hand control of the N.Y. Senate back to Republicans. The Democrats eventually lured both back with packages of perks.

   This is how unions get a bad name, though we'd all do well to remember that there were two sides negotiating the contract that allows this.

   MTA officials have been applying the screws to the Transport Workers Union in the court of public opinion recently as part of a campaign to extract concessions to help out the authority's budget crisis. The MTA disclosed in May 2010 that 51 bus drivers had averaged 64 days off each after having passengers had spit on them. And it's all legal thanks to a wimpy contract.

   Among the sick-leave superstars is now ex-driver Oneshia Shade, who needed five months off and help from psychiatrists "to regain some sort of composure to be able to deal with people," she told The New York Daily News "I felt extremely vulnerable."

   Kind of like taxpayers, eh?

   MTA drivers on sick leave are paid through the state workers' comp program, with NYC Transit picking up some of the tab. Shade was on leave once before after being stabbed while she was six months pregnant -- obviously a serious situation -- and was fired two years later in a dispute with the MTA over her leave. NYC Transit settled the case and allowed Shade to return in 2007. She took a union position in December 2009.

   The logic would be amusing if the subject wasn't so serious.

   There are people who think they have a right to delve into Supreme Court Justice nominee Elena Kagan's sexual orientation because it's likely that the high court will have to rule on issues such as same-sex marriage while the native NY'er is on the bench.

   What's implied there is that Kagan, if she is in fact a lesbian, would have a natural bias toward approving same-sex marriage, etc., and would be ruling with her heart rather than her head.

   Assuming that's true, doesn't that sort of logic cut both ways? Wouldn't it also be fair to fear that a hetero justice would rule the other way based on what he or she has in their heart rather than on what's right?

   It's stupid and it's sad that anyone is even discussing the matter.

   And it's also a controversy decidedly rooted in politics. There's almost certainly a degree of GOP-instigated smear chatter going on, but there's also reason to believe that some Dems are also at work -- based either on religious beliefs or the notion that Kagan may not be liberal enough.

   Though it's a national issue as well, New York teachers are becoming increasingly proficient in the classroom in not just the areas of reading and writing, but in the the rhythm method as well. Van Halen's "Hot For Teacher" isn't just a song (with a corresponding steamy video), it's a way of life in schools across New York.

   There's been an upschwing in teacher-student fraternization the last couple of years, with many being taken to the woodshed for sporting wood around their students (although female teacher/male student episodes have also been plentiful).

   For as tawdry as the topic is, it also sells newspapers and gets used as the lead topic on the 6 o'clock news every chance the disheads get. But that isn't nearing as disgusting as the fact that these episodes keep popping up across New York with such frequency.

   Leave it to New York lawmakers to be so willing to leave money on the table, knowing full well that they can take it out of your pocket whenever they so desire.

   In the first go-round of applying for federal "Race to the Top" funding, New York blew a potential $700 million windfall by submitting an application proposal short on substance and long on wasteful spending -- complete with pricey furniture -- and topped off by a dissing of charter schools as lawmakers caved to the teachers unions.

   The May 2010 effort was actually quite a bit better and surprisingly OK'd the creation of more charter schools. Alas, it was approved for submission at the last possible minute, leaving precious little time for the rest of the supporting documentation to be updated.

   We'll know by this summer whether federal aid will be on its way.

   Talk about flaming out.

   Once a rising star in the Democratic Party, Eric Massa left the House of Representatives in disgrace in March 2010 -- bouncing from reason to reason: a recurrence of cancer, a pending House investigation into allegations of sexual misconduct, and pressure from party leadership because he opposed the Obama health care reform plan.

   It became increasingly clear that the allegations of sexual misconduct are what compelled him to slither away from the halls of Congress on short notice late on a Friday afternoon. The House majority leader confirmed the Ethics Committee was investigating a complaint from a top member of Massa's staff who alleged sexual advances and harassment of male staffers.

   The word "slimeball" would seen o fit Eric Massa perfectly.

   It's astonishing that Democrats and GOPers were brawling last summer over the "honor" of having two clowns sit on their side of the aisle in the state Senate. Hiram Monserrate and Pedro Espada briefly switched loyalties, flipping control of the Senate to the Republicans until the Dems lured them back wth perks. It marked a new recent low in N.Y. government.

   Espada's flaws as a legislator are numerous according to the attorney general's office, which is pursuing muliple cases against him. Monserrate's woes are more of less limited to one incident -- but that one was massive. A bipartisan group of peers called for his explusion after he was convicted last year of assaulting his girlfriend.

   Monserrate fought hard before being booted, then had the audacity to enter the special election for his former seat. Thankfully he got his ass kicked at the ballot box, and a comeback any time soon is unthinkable.